Wednesday, September 07, 2005

When Experiencing Conflict In Your Life...

Hey people! Wow! It's been a long time since I last blogged. It's been a crazy August month for me. So many things have been happening in my life. I sprained my back and could hardly move much or even drive but praise God, I'm healed! This is something I got from Joshua Harris' book, Boy Meets Girl which I recently read. (Thanks Christine for the book!).

10 Tips for communication when you're experiencing conflict with someone...

  1. Learn to express your feelings and frustrations honestly but without accusing or attacking the other person (Proverbs 11:9).
  2. Choose words, expressions, and a tone of voice that are kind and gentle. Don't use speech that could easily offend or spark an argument (Proverbs 15:1).
  3. Don't exaggerate, distort, or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme words like never and always (Ephesians 4:25).
  4. Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.
  5. Commit yourself to seeking solutions insted of airing your grievances. Getting even isn't the goal--you want to get things resolved (Romans 12:17-21).
  6. Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal, or argument. Though these emotions are normal, indulging them is sin (Ephesians 4:26).
  7. Don't hesitate to acknowledge your own failure, and be quick to forgive the other person. Make sure you don't hold a grudge (Luke 17:3-4).
  8. Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you both understand clearly what the other is saying and feeling. Encourage each other as you press toward a solution (Romans 14:19).
  9. Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right thing at the right time in the right way for the right reasons!
  10. Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling, and needing. Try to detect his or her underlying concerns (James 1:19).

Taken from Love That Lasts by Gary and Betsy Ricucci